In this interview, Vanessa Tottle opens up about Tattoo For You, a raw meditation on grief, memory, and healing, tracing how loss became music, permanence, and connection for listeners everywhere.
1. “Tattoo For You” explores grief and lasting emotional imprints. Can you take us back to the moment this song began — what sparked the first line or idea?
I wrote this after getting my mother in laws name tattooed on me, May 2024. As I sat there, I just felt grief had taken its toll on me, feeling of wanting to be closer, trying to get the tattoo on my arm but as close to my heart as I could – the rest of the lyrics quickly came to me. I was literally spilling my raw emotion onto paper. It hurt to see it on paper, like seeing blood spilled on the floor.
2. You describe the song as deeply personal and vulnerable. Was there anything about writing or recording this track that felt especially challenging or cathartic for you?
Half way through In the song I start to speak, spoken word with a tremble, voice shaky, breathing heavy – that was hard to record and I did it in one take so it had the authenticity – I needed it to be real, it was real and to the point my sound engineer said – you ok? It was a heavy session – unleashing the feeling when I got the tattoo.
3. The title suggests permanence — something etched into the soul. What does the idea of a “tattoo” represent for you in the context of love and loss?
A tattoo for me is an unspoken tribute to your loved one, where words can’t find you – art and music can.
4. Many people carry grief quietly, without words. What do you hope listeners who are navigating their own loss will feel or take away from this song?
Grief takes someone to places sometimes you can’t come back from. I hope that through my journey someone will reach out and say “ I need to talk” we suffer so much with grief in silence, society expects us to mourn and move on as the world doesn’t wait for pause but we need to give ourselves permission to grieve, feel and move on as it were when we are able. Most of us including me learn to adapt to a new normal. What is normal? I’m still navigating but my music helps and this one does too. I feel so free.
5. Musically and emotionally, how does “Tattoo For You” reflect where you are right now as an artist compared to your previous releases?
This one is similar to some releases having deep meaning but mostly I have talked of past hurt. This is raw 2023 hurt and the worst kind of loss. For me it’s a recent realness about it. From my timeline of song writing I shouldn’t be singing about this loss for a few more years but what I’ve learnt is that you can’t bottle things up, you have to unleash to heal so here we are!
6. You invite listeners to connect and even reach out if the song stirs emotions. How important is that sense of shared kōrero and community in your music journey moving forward?
I think it’s hugely important. I want to be able to help others directly or indirectly with my song and sharing stories of past loved ones where we have connections by way of art on skin is a universal talking point. I want to be able to put a song out and it not only mean something to me but to the listener.
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