Callie Joy Porter breaks her silence with Black & Fvck, a dark indie–cinematic pop manifesto on impostor syndrome, owning the shadows, and closing one era before rebirth.
1. “Black & Fvck” explores darkness, temptation, and self-discovery. What emotional or personal moment made you realize this album had to exist now?
Thank you for this question, honestly, it came from the need to prove that black isn’t evil. People equate the color black or darkness with something they must hide, and the truth is darkness and black are part of life. We all have moments when we aren’t bright in color, and some people never do. Black to me, is like that experience you want to live but people would judge you if you follow through with it? Then again, I am singing. To me, this was the equation of the same. My impostor syndrome repeatedly said, you’re going to be 40 soon, what are you doing, showing songs you’ve had and never showed to the world now? I had some of them, not all of them. They didn’t let me do anything besides creating them and they were specific when it came to everything. No, this needs to sound this way, no this is better than this other tone, it was … interesting to say the list.
2. Your sound blends cinematic pop and ethereal darkness. How did you approach building that mystical atmosphere across the 8 tracks?
To be fair, I have a rule, if I listen to it repeatedly, and at first it doesn’t convince me, I play with the music again. I’ve changed, at the last minute, perfectly good songs.. Fvck for example, was absolutely remade like 3 hours before I sent it because I kept feeling this impostor syndrome telling me “are you sure you want it this way and not with your original idea?” – You see, most people fear their impostor syndrome, mine… started out putting every single fear in line for me, and when it noticed I don’t do well with people – anyone, even shadows from within like it is..telling me what to do? I’m too old for that. It began to give me second guessing in something that would work in my favor. Eventually, I listen to every song, again and then I choose which one sounds like what and I choose the ones I love the sound, and those I love the lyrics but change my mind on, usually means they had to be changed somehow.
3. Songs like “Liminal Goddess,” “Belladonna,” and “Phoenix” feel symbolic. How do you use imagery and metaphors to tell your story?
Liminal Goddess is a dedication to Hekate, so yes, it’s absolutely symbolic. But also is devotional for me, though Belladonna and Phoenix are not dedications.. They were built from the perspective of societal norms towards women. Belladonna is basically ‘what if the not so typical femme fatale were to speak to the world about what happens to her? And Phoenix is something that hits home much deeper. Phoenix is a song of self-awareness, so using metaphors was the easiest way to get the point across. Basically, one says ‘we are all beautiful and those who are obsessed with you, don’t necessarily need to love you or care for you or even know you to be all on your case, so be like Elsa, let it go. It’s not your responsibility to fit into anybody’s idea of you. And when it comes to Phoenix, it’s a reminder too. We are all exceptional in our own ways, and we are the only obstacles we have for ourselves. The only constant in life is change, the sooner we realize that, the easier our lives will become.
4. This album closes the era you began in 2024 with “Bye” and “I Decide.” What did you learn about yourself during this chapter, both as an artist and a person?
I learned that the impostor syndrome, the inner critique, the bullying, all the suffering people go through only can stop you if you let them. It took me many months to face my fears to be able to send out the albums I’m sending out. I mean, to be fair, I am going to be sending out one on January 9th, for my birthday. And another on January 24th that is ABSOLUTELY FAN SERVICE. Because as a roleplayer, which is one of my hobbies, I have been in the supernatural family forever, from the beginning. I absolutely based some of my characters from my books of the Abyss and the Spark on my favorites and I think a thank you is in order, mostly because to me, it’s been 20 years being those guys. I have 5 accounts, and those accounts are the ones I’m doing the fan service to. All 5 based on a certain squirrel from that show. They are not him, but .. yeah I think I owe him a thank you.
5. You dedicate this era to all women. What message do you hope young listeners take from your journey of owning the dark and evolving through truth?
It’s never too late to do what you love, Keep your nose clean, your chin up, stay out of people’s messes, own your own life, or someone else will instead. Learn the difference from being a good friend to a people pleaser, I was a people pleaser for a long time, it came down to me not doing things because others mirrored their lack of enthusiasm onto me, so, no. Do things smartly, intelligently, keep your head on at all times. My journey is a cautionary tale and it shows in my songs. It’s what I’ve lived, what I’ve seen women go through. It’s never okay to let everyone else eat their cake, when you want pie. Everyone, even those you love, only see as far as their own existence goes, the world, the biggest minds in it, the best people in it are those who question that. And asked, ‘what if?’ Every story began with someone thinking ‘what if?’ My albums are based on ‘what if’, my books are based on ‘what if’ and it doesn’t matter if you’re 18, 25 – I advice, personally, if you’re going to take on a lot of stuff, do it from 25 to 28 when your frontal lobe is fully formed, any other time, it’s just going to be immaturity leading you on. Enjoy your youth. Follow your dreams but smartly. There is not a set time to do what you want, or I wouldn’t be making music or writing books at my age.
6. If this is the ending chapter before renewal, what can we expect from the next phase of Callie Joy Porter — musically and emotionally?
It’s a closure for my own people pleasing, so I took a break and wrote a single called the 4th King which is like a stomp between eras, it’s a song dedicated to the 4th wise man that didn’t arrive according to the story of Henry Van Dyke. I absolutely loved the story so I imagined what if the 4th king, besides saving all those people and embodying Yeshua’s lead was at first, lost… because he wasn’t able to look at the star anymore, and I felt when I wrote it and sent it on December 24th, that it was a good palate cleanser, because my birthday one is… charged. I noticed I was … let’s just say I am somewhat filterless but it showed way too much on that one. The what if’s I asked for that one were interesting. I wrote one song for me and the others were many what ifs. And the one on the 24th is fully gratitude. I am absolutely grateful to be a fan of a show that even when it’s no longer a thing and I never got to go to a convention for different reasons.. feels like a family for everyone. And yes, I am a nerd, but those are pretty much palate cleansers, with a bite. So, what I can say about what’s coming it’s no more people pleasing. No more shutting up. I see it, I write it. You want to bully me? fine, you’re becoming a song. hehe
callieplopez (@cjporterofficial) • Photos et vidéos Instagram
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